It is Melbourne but not as you know it

With the crime rate going off like a frog in a sock, Melbourne could end up as dead as a dingo's breakfast.

Hey mates, time to stand up and take on this replacement threat! The government's bonkers fiscal policies have put our ability to raise kids at risk, and their answer is to bring in Third World substitutes. Let's show 'em we're not going down without a fight! Beth Hall-Marshall